Helping Kids Believe They’re Enough—Without the Trophies
What if your child’s confidence was never tied to achievement?
In this powerful solo episode, Kat shares the early roots of her struggle with self-worth and how that moment on a preschool stage shaped her inner world for decades. She unpacks the unspoken messages kids receive about achievement, performance, and identity—and why the work of instilling self-worth must begin early. This episode is a heartfelt call to parents, educators, and mentors to help kids understand that their value is not based on trophies, rankings, or grades—but on who they are at their core.
Discussion Links:
00:00 Kat recalls her first memory of questioning her worth in a preschool speech contest
01:00 Reflections on what drives our early desire to “place first”
02:00 Exploring how performance is often mistaken for value
04:00 How schools reward achievement but not persistence or self-reflection
05:00 Social media and modern pressures to perform for validation
06:00 Kat’s experience teaching kids across disciplines—from dance to chess to piano
07:00 The one question all kids ask: “Am I good enough?”
08:00 How Kat’s mission is to use music as a tool for teaching self-worth
09:00 A call to adults: how we interact with kids matters deeply
10:00 Closing reflections: worth isn’t measured in wins—it’s lived through character
Transcript
It was in preschool.
Speaker:I entered a declamation contest.
Speaker:I memorized this poem.
Speaker:I think it was something about a goat.
Speaker:I can't remember exactly, but, but I just remember it was a declamation contest.
Speaker:I stood on stage, it was wearing a dress, and I delivered that poem.
Speaker:And you know when the awarding ceremony came, I won third place
Speaker:and I remember being a child and throwing a tantrum and it's cute
Speaker:'cause you're like five or six, right?
Speaker:Can you imagine being an adult and throwing a tantrum
Speaker:when you win Third place?
Speaker:Hey, my name is Kat.
Speaker:And I'm Lee.
Speaker:And welcome to the.
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Speaker:Hello and welcome to another episode of Wildly Wealthy Life.
Speaker:It's been a long time since I've recorded a solo episode, and I really
Speaker:hope that today's episode, uh, will speak to your heart today and maybe
Speaker:get you on a journey of really discovering your true self-worth.
Speaker:Um, this is a journey that I have been on myself for a very long time.
Speaker:I'm still on it.
Speaker:I think we all journey through self-worth, uh, whether we realize it
Speaker:or not, whether we accept it or not.
Speaker:We are all going through a journey of asking ourselves, are we enough?
Speaker:I. Right.
Speaker:Are we doing enough?
Speaker:Are we being enough?
Speaker:Are we who we're supposed to be?
Speaker:There's so many of those questions.
Speaker:Are we living to our fullest potential?
Speaker:Gosh, it's, it's crazy.
Speaker:But, um, I really want to share a story of the very first time
Speaker:I remember, uh, feeling like I'm never going to measure up.
Speaker:And this was in preschool.
Speaker:It's crazy that this was, when I, when I think about it.
Speaker:This story really came to mind because I was so young.
Speaker:I was about five or six years old at that time.
Speaker:I entered a declamation contest.
Speaker:I remember memorizing the poem, working so hard, practicing it, and finally
Speaker:I was on stage with this beautiful dress, um, delivering my poem and
Speaker:delivering it as confidently as I could.
Speaker:And then I won third place.
Speaker:And I remember throwing a huge tantrum because I only placed third.
Speaker:And my grandpa, you know, at that time picked me up and he said, um, it's okay.
Speaker:Uh, you still did your best.
Speaker:You, you still did great.
Speaker:And he whispered something along the lines of, um.
Speaker:I can't fully remember it, but something along the lines of, I
Speaker:think the judges made a mistake.
Speaker:Anyway, you're still the best you.
Speaker:You are better than the ones who placed first.
Speaker:And you know, of course I know he said that because he wanted me to
Speaker:feel better, but at the same time, I really felt like I. You know, looking
Speaker:back, did that make me feel better?
Speaker:Maybe, you know, but at the same time, like, okay, so nobody else
Speaker:saw that I was the best, just you.
Speaker:Like even the judges didn't see that I was the best, you know?
Speaker:And I don't know how we as a five or 6-year-old can
Speaker:comprehend that, you know, first.
Speaker:Place is first, best, second place is second best, and
Speaker:third place is third best.
Speaker:Because nobody in my family told me that, Hey, you know, if you're first
Speaker:place, that means you, you are the best.
Speaker:Nobody.
Speaker:It's just that somehow innately, I think as, as humans, we have
Speaker:this desire to achieve, right?
Speaker:We have this desire to do big things.
Speaker:We have this desire to live amazing lives.
Speaker:And I think somehow innately, uh, we know.
Speaker:That when we place, you know, third, like we feel a little smaller, looking
Speaker:back into our, you know, school system.
Speaker:I love school.
Speaker:I, I loved my journey in my school.
Speaker:Like every school I've been to growing up, like, you know, from my preschool
Speaker:to elementary, high school and college.
Speaker:I loved school, but there's definitely a gap in the way
Speaker:the school system is being ran.
Speaker:And a lot of that gap is because schools right, reward your performance.
Speaker:They don't reward persistence.
Speaker:Schools reward your answers if they're correct, you get good grades, but
Speaker:they don't reward, um, reflection.
Speaker:I. I think about being in sports my entire life.
Speaker:Like in school, I was in a volleyball team, a badminton team, chess and, and
Speaker:you know, uh, all these other sports.
Speaker:And you win first place when you score the highest right?
Speaker:Or in swimming, if you are the first and running when you're in
Speaker:the first, the judge will not.
Speaker:Give you first place just because you showed up on the day that you
Speaker:were sick and you pushed through.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Um, it's not about persistence.
Speaker:It's always been about your performance growing up.
Speaker:And so I think that we carry that as we get older and now enter social
Speaker:media and all that we do in social media is really portray the best.
Speaker:Parts of ourselves, right?
Speaker:And yes, there are times when people are a lot more vulnerable in social media,
Speaker:and they do show all the parts, the good, the bad, and the ugly, which is actually
Speaker:what really makes it beautiful, right?
Speaker:The, the parts that we feel are the not so worthy parts are, I think
Speaker:what really makes us beautiful.
Speaker:And so my work, I, I truly believe that for me personally, my life's
Speaker:calling has been to work with kids.
Speaker:I've worked with kids for so many years and, and realized that it really doesn't
Speaker:matter what I teach, whether I'm teaching dance or ariel or chess or, or now piano,
Speaker:it, it doesn't matter what I teach.
Speaker:Every child struggles with the same thing I. The question is, am I good enough?
Speaker:And that question, I think is the, the question that we all ask ourselves
Speaker:from the, from, from when we are little, all the way to we're adult.
Speaker:We may not know it that we're asking that we, we were little, but.
Speaker:You know, if you grew up with siblings, I'm sure you're probably always
Speaker:comparing yourself to your siblings.
Speaker:I grew up with a cousin that was very, very close to my age, and
Speaker:I always compared myself to her.
Speaker:I always wanted to be the best.
Speaker:I was an overachiever growing up, and so I really struggled with the fact
Speaker:that sometimes I don't place first.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And so, yeah, I just, you know, this is to me my life's work, and
Speaker:I'm so grateful that I get to.
Speaker:Do this through music because I really believe that music is
Speaker:such a beautiful gift to us.
Speaker:All right?
Speaker:Music is a universal language and so is movement.
Speaker:So I'm so glad that in my journey I've taught movement, I've taught
Speaker:dance, I've taught music, and, and now for me, music is just one of those.
Speaker:Beautiful things that I get to teach, but alongside that, I get to really
Speaker:help kids understand their self-worth.
Speaker:So yeah.
Speaker:I guess takeaway for today is maybe look back and remember when was the time that
Speaker:you first struggled with your self-worth?
Speaker:Maybe remember that specific instance and, and.
Speaker:That could maybe help you understand like your struggles of today.
Speaker:I know that it did for me, you know, personally understanding that.
Speaker:Wow, okay.
Speaker:It started very, very young for me and it carried on for my entire school life.
Speaker:And you know, if you're listening to this and, and you are a parent, and
Speaker:even if you are not a parent, like I'm not a parent, but I love working with
Speaker:kids and I love educating kids and so.
Speaker:And even if you're not an educator, right, you probably have kids in your life as
Speaker:an aunt, as an uncle, as a friend, right?
Speaker:You have friends that have kids, right?
Speaker:So how do you show up as an adult when you interact with kids?
Speaker:So that.
Speaker:The kids in your life, whether they are your own or they're not, right?
Speaker:The kids that you encounter in your life, start really believing in who
Speaker:they are, because I really think that this struggle with self-worth,
Speaker:you know, as I already shared in my story, it starts very young and.
Speaker:I think that we as adults can do our part in helping kids around us understand
Speaker:that what they do, right, the awards and the trophies and the grades and
Speaker:all of that, um, does not ever, ever.
Speaker:Measure who they are as people, and that their worth is always going to be
Speaker:tied to who they are, their heart, their character, not what they can achieve.
Speaker:And I think that if we, you know, just recognize that and do our best to help
Speaker:the kids around us believe in themselves a little bit more, I think that this
Speaker:world would be a much better place.
Speaker:So I hope that, um.
Speaker:You know, you enjoy today's episode and I'll see you in the next one.
Speaker:All right, friends, that's a wrap on today's episode of Wildly Wealthy Life.
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